sanityproblems

Anime, aaah.

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 05:42:25 GMT

Fruits Basket is awesome. I love the message it tells, it makes me want to cry, really. All about acceptance and stuff. Bin is a fruitcake. He gets away from the computer and he's lovely, but as soon as he's in that damn game again... I'm all of the sudden glad I've been chatting to random people for the past few days. Aah, and yes, my brief encounter with a black woman. It was good. May never happen again but damn, was it good.

Hospitals do smell.

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 00:07:57 GMT

I never though hospitals smelled, but today with my dad back in emergency I realized... Hospitals do really smell. And one would think with all the cleaner and disinfectant they use hospitals would smell nice. But they don't. They smell of sick. Kind of depressing that they do. *Sighs* Oh well.

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 03:01:54 GMT

Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?

猫

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 02:58:03 GMT

I managed to actually change the damn layout of my journal. W00T! I am awesome. It's sad how HTML or anything of the sort confuses me to a point of outbursts of anger. But, I have overcome this... for once. >.<

I hate facebook. It's deep-rooted. I don't want to contact anyone for answers to a damn quiz, nowgimmemyscores!!! *Kick*

Aaaand, holy shit Bin just gave me a scare by coming in the door. *Hides pictures of naked women and yaoi* Yup, I am not weird at all. I don't think he's quite figured out the truth about me.

My cat just scared me to death. Slammed into my door and literally went flying across the carpet! Apparently the sudden appearance of Bin in the house is amazing to my pets. And of course then proceeds to claw his way into my lap. x.o

I will be hopefully seeing the new Harry Potter movie soon, I have just finished a long and grueling movie marathon with Suzie... If she dares to ask me a thousand and one questions throughout the movie I will kill her. The sixth book was my favourite and if Ralph Fiennes is Voldemort again I think I'll orgasm within the theater. No Joke. I was misty eyes when I saw his performance in the two movies I watched today... I literally fell over. xD Oh how Suzie laughed.

Now I keep thinking I want to research something every morning and then I forget it as soon as I have to start feeding Sasha... Oh well.

*Takes random quiz about Hogwarts sorting and finds herself put into Slytherin* I really should feel bad about that, I think.

Eaten Alive!

Sat, 01 Aug 2009 07:17:43 GMT

I am up at 2:46 in the morning. It is now Saturday. I had a random urge. I fulfill it now!

So, here I was, about 15 minutes ago, searching through Harry/Draco folders and pictures. One thing that annoys the hell out of me is when the actors in the movies are used to represent the relationship because quite frankly... I don't see them as the real deal. >.> If that makes any sense. If I was an actor I really don't think I'd fancy seeing pictures of myself with another actor plastered all over the internet. Wait a second... I would love that, if it were me. It would be a wonderful way to break the ice!

Okay, scratch that, if I were someone else more sane than myself, then I would hate it. Better when the artist makes a completely new and interesting character of the fanart, I think. Works best for me.

Questions for no-one!

Are mothers supposed to be agonizingly annoying on pretense?

Are boyfriends supposed to be satisfactory for only one reason?

Why are girls better than boys?

Why do I detest facebook but search around it every once in awhile?

Exactly who the hell determined I would be a Harry Potter and Yaoi fan all in one?

Why does this not bother me?

Why do I think it should bother me?

Dogs, dogs, and more damn pets!!

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 13:09:02 GMT

I have in my house, at this exact moment, eight puppies, three cats, two snakes, a bunny and a cockatoo!! Yesterday it was nine puppies, however, Darya and I are slowly, oh ever so slowly, getting rid of them. Two/three are leaving today for sure!!! And I'm keeping one, as is Darya. Sooo that means... Only three more need homes! Actually two as some guy named peda-phill is taking a puppy sometime in the next week. But two... THEY NEED TO GO!! They are tearing my room apart aaand... Driving me insane.

I like the puppy I picked, I named her Sasha. She's very good, as far as I know. o.O Apparently she likes me. Yay! I've never been a fan of dogs, but she is cute.

Soulfull talk last night. o.O

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 02:01:32 GMT

So Anthony (An ex of mine) and I talked a lot yesterday and we finally came to a conclusion about our friendship... It's non-existent and that we really do still love each other. I know for awhile I was jumping between him and another guy (Not to mention the really attractive girl that comes into my Subway. xD) but... Well, he's the only person to ever make me swoon. And I mean a delirious happy face goes to my mouth whenever I see or talk to him. He just... knows me inside and out somehow. I always knew he did but he hurt me and I didn't want to forgive him for it.

Last night though, talking to him about maybe going to Japan with him was too much fun. I realized how much I miss him, and when I don't think about it it's easier for me to get along from day to day. But that's all I've been doing lately. I want to start my life with him, crazy as it is. And my biggest fear right now is him leaving me... I knew it then how much I cared for him and that I have to stop fooling around with others. Or else he'll leave me. I'm not good at monogamy, actually I hate the idea of it, however I'll try for someone I love.

Is it weird to feel so complete when he's around? If I ever had a soulmate, I think he is it. And I don't want to lose him.

He loves ghosts so going in August is ghost season there, it'd be much fun. And he would become my mule for yaoi books. xD Thinking about this is just, making me so happy. Damn, he needs more money so he can come back to Canada damnit!! All my friends want to meet him too, I just wish he was not so damn awkward in the bedroom. >.> <.<

And it makes me very happy in a possessive way when he tells me he has a dream about me every night. Kinda weird, I guess. But still, I want to monopolize his time and thoughts. xD I guess my goal has been met! Go team Nikki!!

All Hallo's Eve! AKA パーテイー！！

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 01:38:03 GMT

I cannot wait for Halloween, it's going to be very fun. My friends and I are going out as fairies. xD Yes, that is right. We are showing off our true colours!! >.> <.< And I plan to wear a costume to work. *Snickers*

Anyways, I really just wished to babble. I'm tired as all hell these days, after all. There is this very cute girl who comes in every Sunday and I have a sneaking suspicion she is gay. :D I have moments with her and damn, does she make me blush. x.x I hate it!! (Actually I rather enjoy acting like a blushing virgin whenever she is around but shhhh!) Anyways, I am totally looking forward to Thursday and Halloween. ^_^

Whhhhy?!

Sun, 12 Oct 2008 17:08:23 GMT

Well, my computer got infected with spyware, and it affected my anti-virus protection system... Essentially made it so that I could no longer scan an delete viruses. So my dad had to reboot the system... HOWEVER! When he went to back up my files, he didn't complete it and lost ALL of the files I hadn't back up-ed yet. So essentially, most of it was on the internet, not a total loss. But he lost three of my stories. T-T And in all honesty, I have no idea how I will regain those because I don't write a whole lot anymore, it may take another freaking year just to write them up again. *Cries* Why do people waste their time by making viruses? Are these people idiots, or are they just assholes? I think I want to create a virus that sends a virus back to the sender and kills their computer as well. You should get what you give. >:{

The things that will put me in a grave.

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 21:42:01 GMT

So today I've decided that I've encountered too many things that will cause my life to be a bit shorter than expected, and thus, I shall talk about them.

1. Stairs! I hate going down steps or stairs. I always have to watch my feet and take one step at a time. It could be three, or five hundred, but they will still cause my death one day... Or serious injury. I have zero balance on the damn things.

2. Intersections. You know those stupid intersections that curve JUST before you're turning? And then some asshole, who's speeding, almost hits you as you try to dart onto the other road because you failed to see them when they were behind the bend two seconds ago. Yepp, that'll kill me for sure.

3. Ladders. I don't have a problem with heights. It's ladders I hate. Trying to go up then is way too wobbly for my liking; at any time it could shift, and when it does... BAM! You've hit you're head and you're in a coma.

(I'm paranoid, ねえ？)

4. My cats. They're love-able, but evil. 'nuff said.

5. No seriously, my cats are always underfoot and I almost squash them. In order to avoid this I hop around like a one-legged flamingo, but then they're under the foot I'm hopping on! Therefore, one day, I will crash to the ground and crack open my head because of those beasts.

6. Fast food. I love the stuff, I won't lie. But it'll probably clog up my arteries like hair clogs a sink in your tub. I hate watching what I eat, but it becomes apparent to me that I don't live like a pioneer, and I have too much access to the stuff.

7. Yaoi and Yuri. I'm just to obsessed with them. *Evil grin*

8. Pregnancy. I have too weak a heart for it to go in any way smoothly. But I'll still get pregnant, and I'll still have a child.

9. Dogs. They know I'm scared of them, and one day, I'll come across one with one heck of a foul disposition. And it will know I'm terrified and attack me, I'm sure of it.

10. Work. Some days are just too tiring. I hate them. Why haven't I quit yet? Oh right... I got a raise.

Ten things. I guess that's pretty good? Ah, I was bored.

Another trial and tribulations installment

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 14:18:22 GMT

I finally found out how "Kiken na asobi" finished, and I must say, I was totally pissed off with the uke. He tells the guy that he loves him, and the seme responds, "I know". ARGH! So not satisfactory. I wanted that uke to start yelling and screaming at the seme for hurting him. *Grumbles* Evil cliche's. I know! I shall re-write it for my own happiness. Yes, that is what I shall do. And in my version that seme will become the uke! *Coughs*

Speaking of writing, I really need to finish my fanfiction one of these days. I keep getting messages asking for the ending. *Is evil*

Time for a change.

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 01:06:35 GMT

I messed around with the layout, very badly, and ended up with a harry potter background... >.> That is all I need to say.

Lost in Translation.

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 01:27:08 GMT

I admit, my computer is probably permanently stuck in Japanese, and that I get confused whenever I try to look up anything on my computer. I hate kanji!!振り仮名が大好きです。 *Cries* I'm trying to decipher something, and it's not working, and as a result I cannot find my file. T-T My computer is trying to keep me away from my files, ひみつです！And I hate when I try to write in English, then my computer decides to switch languages, and I start writing in a bunch of katakana. >.< 泣きます！！

オケイ。。。I am done with the random 日本語. *Coughs*

Free time!

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 01:32:43 GMT

Well, since it was Easter, I got a long weekend. It was bloody nice. On Friday I had Melanie an Darya over, it was so fun! An I think Mel an I mentally scarred Darya... We were playing Enzai. (Prison sex, enough said?) Poor Melanie, she freaked every time a scene that featured questionable abuse happened. She only likes romantic sex, I suppose. I was like, "OMG, ABUSIVE YAOI SEX!! MY LOVE!" Next we plan to play absolute obedience, which I hear is about as bad as Enzai sooo... I think poor Melanie will have trouble playing with me as I'll be all for sex without total love and compassion. (I like Akihito and Feilong for the same reason... I see a pattern here. >.<)

Well, after the prison sex, we went out to the Broadway restaurant. A girl who works there knew Erin and I from before, when we went there with my parents. She wondered if we were sisters... And we were all looking at each other, laughter in our eyes. Not exactly lady, we're dating!

Yesterday... I cleaned. I think that's all I did, except sleep in. And today was nice, we had Easter dinner at my parent's house with Erin's mother. It was really nice, like one big family. I don't know why, it just gave me warm fuzzies. (My romantic self coming into play?) And tomorrow is Erin's and my anniversary. Three years... *Drops down on the floor* By far, my longest relationship. I want to go out to dinner and exchange gifts, just, you know, be a bit romantic. It's been an eventful three days...

Ah, going back to work and school shall suck. My first "vacation" in months is coming to an end! *Sniffles inserted here* It was a really good "vacation"!

I'm alive!

Sat, 21 Jul 2007 14:36:18 GMT

I returned from my trip, with lots of pictures! I think I bought so much that I amazed people with my ability to keep wanting to see more shops/stalls. >.< The only thing that sucks majorly was that my passport got lost somewhere in YVR... I will forever hold a grudge against that damn airport... Now I have to wait until Wednesday to get my ass down to Utah. Argh!

Boredemn; waiting to get my day along...

Fri, 22 Jun 2007 19:10:11 GMT

Your Birth Month is February

Peaceful and harmonious, you seek the gentle side of life.
Your warmth and consideration touches many.

Your soul reflects: Purity, modesty, and faithfulness

Your gemstone: Amethyst

Your flower: Iris

Your colors: Purple, yellow, and light blue

What Does Your Birth Month Mean?

What Your Favorite Color Orange Says About You:

Joyful --- Enthusiastic --- Optimistic
Outgoing --- Accepting --- Confident
Loud --- Unruly --- Impulsive

What Does Your Favorite Color Say About You?

It's actually truthful about me, orange... I'm very impulsive and outgoing, and etc... (Fuck am I bored.)

Best thing on TV I've seen in years! A Bad Habit.

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 04:31:24 GMT

I just wasted two hours watching a TV show. I would never do that. Most because all TV hs gone down the drain except for select few shows. However! Something miraculous has just occured! I found a show worth watching. Dancing with the Stars had potential but it was just too ridiculous for me to want to continue with it. This TV show was great! Dragon Boys... I think it's a Canadian show, but I'm not sure. It probably is because it was on CBC. It really, really, really should be advertised more. The acting was good, the idea was good, hell, everything was good. It was disturbing, it was sick, it was damn well interesting!

I don't bloody well give a damn about stereotypes. It sure as hell was better than ANYTHING that has come from American television in the past seven years. I have a major essay to complete now, but that may be hard. As I'm too excited now. I was so sucked into the show that I just relaxed right away.

But, the essay will be written tonight, as my creative juices, for some reason, just flow better at night. My parents have commented on this and I think they're right... Bloody hell, I will kill myself with these bad habits.

Dragon Boys! Awesome show. Hot men, hot women. Likeable characters who could be classified as assholes. GOOD WORK! I am pleased. TV has saved face for one night. Fuck I hope it's on next week.

So Happy I Deserve to be Shot.

Sat, 26 May 2007 02:56:43 GMT

I do deserve to be shot. It makes me extremely elated when Erin tells me, "I love you." I should not be acting like a love sick puppy. But I am. This vexes me... I suck at the whole 'emotions' thing, obviously. >.

An O/D of Tylenol at four in the morning.

Wed, 23 May 2007 19:07:02 GMT

I had a migraine, very bad migraine. And because of that massive evil sweling of the brain I took five pills of tylenol. I was dead to the world for a good five hours again. I screwed myself over too by missing another day of school... Gah. I know I can't miss too much school and yet it happens... *Sighs* Eh, well, I suppose it's not too bad. I'll just have to work harder to catch up... Gah! Bloody headaches and bloody end of the year and bloody end of school!!

One of those days...

Mon, 07 May 2007 01:24:56 GMT

It turned into one of those days where I questioned why I'm still continuing life. There's so much to leave. And people try to make it seem like I have reasons to continue but quite frankly... No I don't. I have no future. There is no future. Nice try my dear friend Brittany, but I want to end this whole shirade soon enough. I hated playing ever since I woke up.

Walk Clears Dumb Head.

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 22:14:16 GMT

I needed a walk to forget everything. So I took a good hour of my day to stay outside until it started to rain. Fuck it was brilliant. All my fucking troubles went away in an instant. A lot of my troubles are pretty stupid anyways. I think I need to take a walk everyday to remind myself that I am loved, by some people at least.

I sometimes wonder why I am so damned insecure... Then I start to remember, I have some sort of mental disorder that basically prevents me from being able to ever feel like I can fit in with anyone... *Sighs* Being phsycotic is hard! (Not shit...) Bah, Humbug.

I should one day try to get a diagnosis... However, telling any fucking doctor about this is scary. It would be better if I did. Then maybe I could stay in my own 'mind'.

(And then there are days where I wish I'd give up and just completely lose it. Then life would be easier.)

Ah, some days, I just wish I could walk the whole day away.

I used to have bleach blonde hair that was natural, and it still shows.

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 02:26:24 GMT

Rinjii Misheru -- "You whorange!" says:
Just let me watch Axl dance for a minute or so longer.
Cadia says:
Lol, okay. I shall allow you to.
Rinjii Misheru -- "You whorange!" says:
Axl Rose is smexy.
Rinjii Misheru -- "You whorange!" says:
Well, he was when he was young.
Cadia says:
Lol, I don't know if I can agree.
Rinjii Misheru -- "You whorange!" says:
You don't agree?
Cadia says:
I don't know if I can, I am horrid with names!
Rinjii Misheru -- "You whorange!" says:
LMFAO!
Rinjii Misheru -- "You whorange!" says:
Look at my dp.
Rinjii Misheru -- "You whorange!" says:
That's Axl Rose.
Cadia says:
Okay, I agree. Lmfao.
Rinjii Misheru -- "You whorange!" says:
He's the lead singer of Guns N' Roses.
Rinjii Misheru -- "You whorange!" says:
Lmfao.
Rinjii Misheru -- "You whorange!" says:
This is his voice:
Cadia says:
Oooh, Guns N' Roses, OH AXL!!
Rinjii Misheru -- "You whorange!" says:
Hold on.
Cadia says:
Holy shit.
Rinjii Misheru -- "You whorange!" says:
Oh.
Rinjii Misheru -- "You whorange!" says:
Nevermind.
Rinjii Misheru -- "You whorange!" says:
LMFAO!
Cadia says:
How could I forget that!!??

Rinjii Misheru -- "You whorange!" says:
LMFAO!
Cadia says:
Wow...
Rinjii Misheru -- "You whorange!" says:
*dies laughing*
Cadia says:
I think I'm going to die laughing!!
Rinjii Misheru -- "You whorange!" says:
AHAHAHA!

There, in that moment, my childhood blonde hair comes back to haunt me! How could anyone forget Axl's name?! I shall go and cry, for now I am forever shamed!!

Eats, Shoots & Leaves.

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 20:09:17 GMT

I've decided I should be a panda. All those who use improper grammar and spelling annoy me. Quite honestly, I feel my bloody eye twitch everytime I come across a 'u' or '2B', or better yet, 'sck'! Is that meant to be suck, sick, or something else entirely? Oh, I'm having a brain anuerism thinking about it. (I may not have proper grammar, but at least I attempt to take it into consideration!)

School is getting mundane. I have a test tomorrow, I feel prepared for it. I think I'm going to fail. I can never feel prepared for something. Ever. It's the law of my universe. Don't ask how.

I now am officially joining the thousands of other weirdos. I have an addiction to the show 'Dancing with the Stars'. The Stars this season are, in a word, awesome. Well, to me they are. It's hilarious to myself, that I freak out at the thought of having missed the show when it's on. I am now part of the drones. I hate TV. Fucking commercials. And they drag the show on forever. It's bloody idiotic. Gives them more air time and higher ratings buuuut--Bloody annoying. I wish I could smack the media industry for making little sense. Buggers.

Missing math classes...

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 01:22:17 GMT

Well, I tried to go over my math homework from last week and... I couldn't understand the polynomial division. Tomorrow after school I'll have to ask about it so I can continue on with the damned homework and have a chance of passing the bloody test.

I still think I should drop it.

There are gods out there... and they hate me.

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 20:24:55 GMT

Three days until my birthday. Three days until the big day. Three more days.

And now I know why I hate my birthday... I am so freaking ill right now it's a little disstressful. I haven't really kept anything down in my stomach for the past twelve days. And, I have been losing too much weight slowly because I cannot seem to digest a thing. This, naturally, happens right before my birthday!

Next year I bet I'll be at my death bed before my birthday arrives. Oh joy.

It's valentine's today. I got chocolate from my parents. I can't eat it! Thanks for nothing! Eeesh, give me the sappy card ad a fluffy toy to make me feel better, don't taunt me with food I can't eat! Bloody hell.

I can only drink this salty citrate stuff (Doctor's orders). I have a love hate realtionship with doctors. I love them because they do get me feeling better. That's after all the shit I go through while cursing their very profession! This salty, watery, citrate-y conjealed mess is the only damn thing that will stay down in my stomach and doesn't make me heave my stomach acid into a toilet. It tastes horrible yet my stomach sings in praise of it's exsistance.

I want to be reborn a virus. That way I don't suffer, someone else does!!

-Nikki.